Sarah Lolley
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Up Close and Cryptic

8/8/2014

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I wrote the cryptic crossword tutorial on this website because a friend was in a tough situation and there was nothing I could do.

This friend is an aid worker who has dedicated her professional life to alleviating the suffering of others, primarily through the prevention of starvation and malnutrition. She works in countries that have been wrenched apart by war and natural disaster. 
She works extremely long hours under difficult conditions and she is often lonely. When she is, there is very little I can do to help and that breaks my heart.
When I am lonely, distraction helps and as you know from the contents of this website, I find cryptic crosswords to be a wonderful distraction. I could not give my friend a hug or make her dinner but perhaps I could distract her from her loneliness, I reasoned. Perhaps I could show her the hidden door that leads into the magically complex world of cryptics, and in so doing, give her some respite from the world around her. I wrote her a guide to solving cryptic crosswords. And, to make the process as engaging as possible, I wrote her a personalized puzzle, with clues and answers designed especially for her.
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This was not new for me: every puzzle that I have ever made (except for the practice puzzles on this site) has been personalized. But they were always for people who already knew and loved cryptics. My first puzzle was a gift for my sister and parents, and it included nods to my childhood (e.g. "Just an Aberfoyle event (4)" referred to the country FAIR we looked forward to every year). Shortly after that I made a puzzle for one of the only other cryptic crossword fans I knew: my brother-in-law. "Ineffective palate cleanser on an effective first date? (9)" referred to his first date with my sister-in-law, a game of BAD+MINT+ON. After I flew home from visiting her in Scotland, I mailed one to my great-aunt who is keen on DALWHINNIE: "When I land, I mix a stiff drink (10)". For our first anniversary -- the paper anniversary -- I made a puzzle for my husband, including references to our courtship and to the wedding, at which our friend R-Y-A-N made a beautiful toast: "Toaster starts ruining your awesome naan (4)".

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But the personalized puzzle I made for my friend the aid worker was the first I made for someone who didn't already know and love cryptics.

Since then, there have been others. I set one for a very close friend for his birthday. I set one for my husband's aunt and uncle, whom I adore. I recently delivered two as wedding presents for good friends.
Each puzzle is accompanied by a copy of that early tutorial I wrote.

It might seem like an odd gift. Maybe even a mean one? After all, I'm essentially offering someone a present they can't open, at least not yet.

But b
ecause the recipients know me so well, they know that what I am really giving them isn't a black-and-white grid; it's a keyhold into something I find extraordinary.
As a friend recently said, when you create a puzzle for someone, it's like you share a secret. And that's exactly what I wanted to give to these people I love.

It turns out that my friend the aid worker understood not only this truth but a much deeper one that I wasn't fully aware of myself: my gift was also a tiny, shivering wish to be understood. At that point, I knew fewer than a dozen people who did cryptic crosswords and I was related to most of them. I hadn't yet met other cryptic crossword fans and setters on twitter, and I hadn't found the enormous Cryptic Crossword Society. Unlike in Britain, there is no tradition of cryptic crosswords here in Canada. "I love you so much that I want to share this thing I love with you," is what my puzzle said to her. But also: "Can you see why I love this thing? Can you see how important to me it has become?"

Within two days, despite her ridiculous schedule, she had taught herself the
rules and solved the entire thing. Turns out, she feels helpless when I'm in need, too.

-Sarah
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    About Sarah

    I'm a writer, adventurer, amateur setter of cryptic crosswords, lover of "ah-ha!" moments, and exhausted mom.

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